42 and stronger........

On Saturday it was my birthday. I turned 42 years old. I realize, the older I get, the more independent and verbal my thoughts become. I think I like this about myself. For most people that know me, I've always had more of a quite and reserved personality. I believe the more one likes himself, the more he becomes comfortable with himself and really doesn't care to much what others think. Therefore, I become more Intolerance of Intolerance.

My plans started out big for this weekend, and ended up not so big. Just staying local and doing more smaller things... I'm actually happy it turned out that way. After a busy last couple of weeks and more traveling coming up, it was nice just to stay local. My friend Jimmy and his partner Ben wanted to take me out for dinner. They decided to take me to The Melting Pot, which by the way is my favorite restaurant. Our reservation was at 8:30, and we got there a little early and decided to have some drinks. We were in the little bar/waiting area, and this was kind of full. The three of us were next to this group of 5 waiting on their table. This one lady in particular was getting on my nerves.....she was complaining about everything, her drink was too big to hold, her daughter should have been there by now, the place was too crowded.... I think it was more her voice, she was just loud. Anyway, while I was returning from the bathroom, my friends where getting another round of drinks (I was drinking a coconut mojito which are sooo tasty), anyway, I stood next to this annoying women while I waited for my friends to come back with the drinks. I was watching them at the bar, and it was obvious that they were more than friends as Jimmy had his arm around Ben. The annoying lady obviously saw this and must have not noticed me with them earlier, as she turns around and says to me "don't you just hate when 'they' do that in public", it took me a second to realize what she was talking about, her friends were focused on her at the moment... as I think that is her goal.... and I said, "No, but what I do hate is when loud grouchy bigots such as yourself say things that makes absolutely no sense to me" and just stared at her while I finished my drink. At that exact moment, they called our name for our table, so I as I walked past her, she gave me a nasty look and I just winked at her. I did feel good for what I said to her. If you ask me... it's 2008, I don't see much reason for ignorance these days.

OK.. I'm off to fish!

5 days in DC

I went to DC this past week for work(Wed-Sunday): a conference that I have attended about 8 times in the last 10 years. It started out the norm.... getting to my place of my first destination to begin with... the trade show floor... I was kind of dreading it like I always do, but as soon as I got there, three others from my company were there that I have worked with many times throughout those 10 years......It was nice to see them.
The first day was busy. That night I went to a reception in the Ronald Reagan Building- it's a beautiful building and place. The reception that night was held in the building by ACP (American College of Physicians), and they are a bunch of fun people. Margaret, one of the leaders, actually lives just miles from me in NJ, and I love her. She's so sweet and fun, and knows how to throw a party. The theme of this was Gaming/Casino. First of all.. the food was awesome. It was a buffet style which I'm sure everyone knows I love. And, I love tuna, they had tuna steaks and the lady there encouraged me to eat this apple butter sauce on it. Now I love Apple Butter- it is so good! If you the chance to ever have this, I highly recommend. Anyway, I invited my friend Irene to come and join me at this function. I got her on the list- as I said, Margaret is awesome! I haven't seen Irene in a while- I met her about 13 years ago, we worked together at this mental health thing and just became great friends. She's the kind of friend you can tell anything to and know she's love you anyway. We always have so much fun and laugh constantly. Well, we gambled with fake money- I love to play craps, even with lots of drinks in you playing craps with fake money can be fun. We all had an awesome time. My co-workers loved her, too.
I realized that these things I go to are like reunions, I have known many of these people for 10 years. I also realized I can do my job anywhere, and I'll be alright.... so... I'm gonna move and it'll be ok. I really do have an awesome job.
Anyway, the next day was fun, too. I had a great dinner with my old friend Rob, he's a good guy with a big heart. His partner was not feeling so well, so Rob and I did dinner alone and then went to the Cobalt for a bit and had a drink or two... Ok.. so, here's another story. I have been talking to this guy on line for 5 years now. His name is Freddie... and, yes, he's married. To a girl... I actually met her first.. it's a long story, but it is a work related so I won't get into the details since it's not that exciting, anyway, I ended up going to dinner with this girl once about 5 years ago, with a bunch of others, and she ended up bringing Freddie, her husband. They were high school sweethearts... .. you know the story. Anyhow... Freddie and I bonded that night, we all went out, had a ball with too much to drink... somewhere/somehow.... Freddie ended up kissing me that night. It was the craziest thing... to make a long story short, we kept in touch, talk all the time via email and IM'ing, but never met again. I wanted to many times, but I know better than dragging myself into that.. cuz he's so 'dreamy'- did I just use that word? There were many times I have been in DC since then, but promised myself b/c he is married that I wouldn't call him when I'm there. Why punish myself. He is so handsome/sweet/funny...if things were only different.. how many times have I said that? But, he does have the best smile and eyes I have ever seen in my life..here's his smile.

So..anyway, he would always get mad at me when I was in DC and never call him and let him know... but...I'm no fool. He's got a wife, right? Right!
So... Rob and I leave the bar... and walk around... next think I hear is 'Mike?' 'Mike, Mike??' and as soon as I turn around..who is there.... YES Mr Beautiful Smile. I was in shock(with a huge smile on my face) He looked incredible. The most beautiful blue eyes and that smile that will make anyone melt. Anyway, it was a nice to see him. Rob had to get back home for a 5 am flight, Freddie and I went for a beer, a long walk... he really is a sweet guy. Much better looking then I remember..... Yep.
Next day was work for a few hours, then Irene picked me up. She had a full day planned. We went to this Amazon thing... I don't recommend Cuma water, if anyone tries to sell it to you, say no thanks! well, we only lasted about 5 minutes there...but we had a good time.. NOT. Then we went to a Greek Fest thing in DC up by American Univ. Beautiful area. That was fun, and so much great food. Irene is Greek and I think most of her family was there. It was a blast.
Somewhere in there I got to see Brett...handsome guy. I meet him only one other time.... it was nice to see him. We just both happen to be in the same city at the same time.

I do love DC. I miss it sometimes. It was probably my favorite place to live.
It was a long trip though and so nice to come home to my own bed, but.. I can't wait to go back again!
I realized that I can do my job anywhere and still be happy. I guess I should start packing, huh?

It is rare to find friends that you can feel so comfortable with and have so much fun with. I do appreciate my friends. Irene- your the best and I love you!

Rainy Monday

Well.... it's Monday and it's raining. I love rain in the spring and summer. It's fun...and romantic.
I think it also puts me in a good mood. I was on the hyper side today, which is a little unusual for me. Work was good. I put an offer on a home, they turned me down.. I offered higher. This is a stupid game. Why can't they just tell you the min. they will accept for a sale? It's a waste of time and energy for everyone. I'm moving to a place I know nothing about.. except country music and cowboys. That ain't so bad, right? Right!

Yesterday was mothers day. It was a sad day for me. I the first mothers day with my mom. I don't think I realized how much of a mommas boy I was.... I'm sure my siblings could... but... I was. I had breakfast with a friend of mine yesterday, he was talking about his mom/parents a lot and what they are going through. Afterwards he apologized for that being the center of attention. I actually think I enjoyed it. I came home, took a shower (I know..no shower before going to breakfast) and while I was in the shower, I was thinking about how just before she passed away, I was washing her in the shower because she was too weak to do it herself. It was a very humbling experience. Needless to say..... It was a very emotional moment for me. I often wonder if I did enough for her while she was sick. I was so sad to see how weak and helpless she was. I think that was the most painful thing for me because I think I knew her so well. My mother was also so strong, independent and didn't really like people doing stuff for her. And I didn't know what was going through her head. My mom was always so funny, always joking and affectionate. She was fun. But when I picked her up in FL to bring her up here to stay with me....she was a totally different person. I knew at that point it wouldn't be long. She hardly talked, no smiles, not laughter... just stood into space. There were a few times she would joke or be sarcastic and those moments made my day. And when she come home from the hospital, and all my family were around her, there were times when you could see that old Dodi (that's my mom's name) and that was so precious to us all. I am so glad that I got to spend every minute I could with her in the end. I think made me appreciate EVERYTHING so much more.
Above are pictures of me and my mom, the first one was taken about 1.5 years before she passed away. The second one was about 4 weeks before she passed away.

Happy Mothers Day Mom!

I'm no longer a virgin

Here's what has started all this:
My friend Brent has been telling me that I need to 'blog' to get rid of some stress and to talk things out amongst myself. Until recently I have been against blogs, well, not against them, but maybe just figured they weren't for me, probably because I'm a very private person. Brent's a blogger and I read his everyday. I have a good friend Joey, I read his every day too. I have a feeling my postings won't be nearly as fun as Joey's.
I could start by writing about my life... but I'm doing that in another way. Maybe someday you'll read my book.
So, I was talking with Brent last night, over a burger and beer, about all this stress I seem to be creating for myself. I'm a true believer that we can have some control over our stress, we may have no control of things, but I think we have control over how we deal with them. Anyway (I'm gonna type how I talk so just get use to it) I have an offer to my job to Nashville. Actually, I've gonna do it. Can't pass it up. It's an exciting opportunity. But... why am I so upset about it? I think I figured it out this morning while making eggs and watching the cooking channel (this is what I do best). It's raining outside so I have no need to leave the house for a while. Anyway, while looking out my deck door and all the different colors on the trees and new flowers and crap I realized!! I LOVE NEW JERSEY!!
For the first time anywhere, I am totally happy with myself, I love my job here, I love my friends here, I love the state, I love how close the state is to everything, I love my home, I love my neighbors, I love myself. I've been here 10 years. Had some sad times while in JRZ but was able to grow from them. I am settled! And I like it.
Ya.. I feel better about things already. Damn! I might like this, too.
I'm going south... maybe I'll just try and rent my place in case I want to come back. I love the NorthEast!
Thanks Brent! Thanks Joey! See..how helpful you have been.

So, the change had me stressed out. I'm not going to let it do that anymore. I feel positive already. I'm going to DC this week for work, I used to live there before JRZ. I am meeting a couple of old friends, and really am looking forward to that. Especially my friend Irene. I love her.

This may not be such a bad place after all. So, until my next post... bye!