Well.... it's Monday and it's raining. I love rain in the spring and summer. It's fun...and romantic.
I think it also puts me in a good mood. I was on the hyper side today, which is a little unusual for me. Work was good. I put an offer on a home, they turned me down.. I offered higher. This is a stupid game. Why can't they just tell you the min. they will accept for a sale? It's a waste of time and energy for everyone. I'm moving to a place I know nothing about.. except country music and cowboys. That ain't so bad, right? Right!
Yesterday was mothers day. It was a sad day for me. I the first mothers day with my mom. I don't think I realized how much of a mommas boy I was.... I'm sure my siblings could... but... I was. I had breakfast with a friend of mine yesterday, he was talking about his mom/parents a lot and what they are going through. Afterwards he apologized for that being the center of attention. I actually think I enjoyed it. I came home, took a shower (I know..no shower before going to breakfast) and while I was in the shower, I was thinking about how just before she passed away, I was washing her in the shower because she was too weak to do it herself. It was a very humbling experience. Needless to say..... It was a very emotional moment for me. I often wonder if I did enough for her while she was sick. I was so sad to see how weak and helpless she was. I think that was the most painful thing for me because I think I knew her so well. My mother was also so strong, independent and didn't really like people doing stuff for her. And I didn't know what was going through her head. My mom was always so funny, always joking and affectionate. She was fun. But when I picked her up in FL to bring her up here to stay with me....she was a totally different person. I knew at that point it wouldn't be long. She hardly talked, no smiles, not laughter... just stood into space. There were a few times she would joke or be sarcastic and those moments made my day. And when she come home from the hospital, and all my family were around her, there were times when you could see that old Dodi (that's my mom's name) and that was so precious to us all. I am so glad that I got to spend every minute I could with her in the end. I think made me appreciate EVERYTHING so much more.
Above are pictures of me and my mom, the first one was taken about 1.5 years before she passed away. The second one was about 4 weeks before she passed away.
Happy Mothers Day Mom!
4 comments:
Mike, this post had me in tears. I honestly couldn't imagine losing my mother. I admire and look up to your resiliency very sincerely. I never had the pleasure of meeting your mother, but I am sure Dodi was a great individual with as big of a heart as you do. You did everything you could to help her and that's what's most important. Thanks for sharing that, HUGS...Joey G
Mike, I'm crying. You loved your Mom so much. I know she loved you, too. I see Dodi in you, darling. Your laughter, kindness, love.
I am humbled by your honesty about your experience with her and your feelings about her. I love you. Irene
Hey man, I swear to god I'm not stalking you ..lol.
I stumbled onto this post about your mom and wanted to share this with you http://patrock.livejournal.com/73027.html. The tough part is when you come to realize how much someone is part of your life and how deep those ties run. It's a big hurt and my heart goes out to you.
patrick
san francisco
Mike...You are a great guy. I feel your pain regarding this. Just know your mom loved you very much. You did everything you could.
Love you..
Bear Gear Joey
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