WTF update and blah blah blah.... and kidney stones:

So.. have you ever had kidney stones? Ever pass one? Well.. I did. And.. I was asking the lady in the ED (emergency department) to either kill me, or give me something to put me to sleep cuz I was so embarrassed (not to mention pain)- I know I looked like a fool. Pain is not my friend. I'm a big baby. I knew both the Doctor and the Nurse. I think that made it worse. Anyway, it was a rough weekend, but it's Tuesday and I feel like a new person.

I also lost a few more pounds. The gym is not my friend either. I don't have many friends, huh?

My new job is great... busy but great. My old job was busy. Do you realized I have work since I was 14 years old? I can't think of anytime in my life that I did not have a job for more than a couple of days. The thought of unemployment scares the crap out of me. Maybe that's why I work so hard. Anyway... I have a new project that will keep me busy over the next year. It will probably keep me traveling a lot in PA (Penn State territory).. I guess that's ok.

I'm gonna relax this coming weekend.. going camping with a friend. I'll let you know how that goes. Looking forward to it.

I was thinking a lot about my mom lately. It was a year ago this time that I went to FL with my Aunt Pat and picked her up.. drove her back up here (home to where she grew up). When I got there, I was totally shocked at how weak and fragile she got since I had last saw her. I'll never forget that when she hugged me, it was so light...barely a hug. I think this was the first time I really realized how sick she was. My mom was always a big hugger, - you knew when she hugged you. I did not realize that when she left with us, that was the last time she would see her home. That is very sad for me, because I know my mom loved her home.
I also remember the trip. We drove straight through, my mom was very uncomfortable, but she did not want to stop and sleep in a hotel. I will also never forget when we stopped for dinner on the way up here (I think it was a Denny's) all she wanted was soup and toast. So..we ordered that for her.. and after I think.. maybe four spoonfuls, she vomited all over her food, the table, lost her false teeth in the soup. It was the saddest thing... but kind of funny. I did feel bad for her..but it made me and my Aunt Pat laugh. And still we talk about it, I can cry and laugh about it at the same time. The waitress was the sweetest person. I will never forget her and howkind and helpful she was.
My Aunt Pat is also a Saint. I'm not sure where I would have been without her on that trip.. or even today. My family has always been fun. I think we can laugh more than anyone... in both happy and sad times. I am very lucky to have a great family.

Well.. I think I've Blogged enough for now.

Why do I have a blog?

I realize I haven't written in this blog of mine for a while. My main reason I started this was from a suggestion by my friend Grant who thought that it might be easier to figure out why I was having a hard time deciding to move or not to move regarding my new position. I think it helped. I'm glad I no longer have that decision to make and that I'm staying in Jersey. I don't think anyone can deny that writing things down helps to process your thoughts. But.. I'm not sure if this is the place to do it. There are many things I'd like to get off of my chest... but since family and friends read this, I'm not sure this is the "appropriate" place to do that. I was (and still might) write in a different blog anonymously, but... who's going to read that (where's the fun there?). So.. I'm thinking maybe from time to time I might be a little more honest in this page... I may offend people. I usually take extra steps to make everyone happy... we all know that does not work. I usually don't complain or bitch that often, but sometimes... well sometimes that does work. So.... I'm back for now.

I feel like my summer came and went. I have some of my best friends I did not see at all. I miss Bill and Dan.... I think I forgot what they look like. I was hoping to see Jim again after all these years... but I'll see him next month.
I didn't do anything I wanted to. Nothing! I found myself having a hard time committing to trips. I'm not sure why. Ya, I am sure a lot of it was because of my new position. But, just the same, I feel like I missed out on some 'summer fun'.

My brother visited a couple of weeks ago. I enjoyed that so much. I'm going there for xmas. This is a first. I'm excited about that. I had a family reunion. That was awesome. There were years that I didn't have much to do with my family. I'm sure most of it was because I was gay and wasn't sure if family was cool with that or not. I did finally learn that it really didn't matter if they did. It's not about them. So finally, when I am at whole with myself I'm spending as much time with my family as I can.... I wish I had know then what I know now (I think this would be a good self help good.... don't steal this title!).

My friend Ryan... we had a 'little' disagreement this summer. So that bummed me out. But..I hope we are ok now. HUGS

I went camping last weekend... I love to camp. There's something so relaxing about it. Joey is about as sweet and fun as they come.

I'm going to BearBust in Orlando next month. I did commit to that. I'm sure I'll have fun there.

My good friend Rich is in town. He invited me to meet him with his partner and his other friends last night. I didn't. The main reason is his partner Bob doesn't like me. He really has no reason not to. I won't disrespect him, so I'll stop here. It just is too uncomfortable with Bob. What I hate most about this that I don't feel like I can have a 'real' friendship with Rich. That makes me sad.

Hopefully I'll see Joe soon before he transfers to Orlando. Irene is visiting me in two weeks. Yay!

I've been watching the Democratic Nat'l Convention. I wouldn't pull away from it. I'm going to try and watch the Repubs... but.. GO OBAMA.

Anyway... I think I'm done writing for now. Ya.. a little bitching does help.